KambingBujang

It’s been 3 weeks now and I’m still in the process of adapting the fact that I have two children right now. I am 27 this year and I’m still new to this father things. Raising children is never been easy. Parenting cannot be done with one hand only. Both partners have to help each other in order to make it work.

Since we decided that we manage the family matters ourself instead of seeking help from a maid or domestic helper, I have to take part of taking care my children. Changing diapers, standing, carrying back and forth the baby, and bathing the them are nothing new for me.

I have been through with my first son, and I should know what to expect when we have a newborn baby. For new father, here are the things you should expect;

1. Your Partner is gonna need you. Very. Much. Be the shoulder to your wife. Sometimes my wife cried in the middle of the night or in the morning, showed her frustration that she is not a good mother, she was unable to soothe the baby’s crying. She made a call to my office, transferred his frustration to me, I didn’t know what to do (well i’m not a good father either) but searching through and found twelve reasons babies cry and how to soothe them.

Your partner is really need very much, and as a father, try to be firm and strong for her so that she has something to hang on for a little while. Babysit a baby especially newborn gives a lot of pressure to her lately.

2. Extra Space.I really love single storey house. The space is limited that I feel intimacy with my wife. But she stressed out it is environmentally unsuitable for two kids. They need space for running, and rolling (what?). So move out to a new house; the double storey one.

I foresee that we need larger vehicle, then we need larger compartment, then larger dining table, then larger TV, and freezer for milk storage.

3. Poops. A lot of poops. My baby is 2 weeks old and she’s has utilized almost 2 packs of S-size disposable diapers. Sometimes my baby happened to poops a lot after only seconds my wife changed new diapers. Sometime she pooped three times in an hour. I have experienced with my first child, but I couldn’t remember the frequency of poops the baby made in a day. An average newborn baby moves his/her bowel up to 8 times a day.

4. A headache, and heartache. I should expect that my baby will definitely give me headache and heartache. I should not take it personally. I’ve read that 10% of dads get postnatal depression. Heartbreaking is what babies do, but they didn’t mean to hurt you.

Sometimes things were got into frustration, crying until your ceiling shivers, moaning all night long, you realize everything you did was a waste.  I hope I would patiently get through the baby madness and prevent the postnatal depression.

5. Bonding with your newborn. Touch your baby a lot, massage, kiss, changing his diaper (although I’m not gonna change it until my wife is resume to work.), hug the baby, making faces, having menace with her nose, carry him and make a circle with the living room, give a clear look at my baby about 1-inch closer to his face, give a change to hold your finger. you should feel great when bonding with your own baby,

6. Sex is dinosaur.Your sex life is going to extinct like dinosaurs, if you don’t have initiative to build love boat . But The frequency of having is not the same like the golden age of early marriage. You realized that you don’t have much time to intimate with your partner because your baby needs more attention right now.

The excitement of making love is going to be a little bit shaky as you’ve been disturbed by your baby crying. After that, the momentum has gone as your wife is soothing out the baby. Unless you sit together with your partner and sincerely discuss about how to bring back the golden age and revitalize the art of making love again.

Conclusion. There are certain things happened out of expectations  that make you feel frustrated and furious. To tackle them is to find the best possible way to stay in the circle of sanity. Always have positive thinking about what has happened. Your partner and your children need your support, so maintain your motivation as long as you can.

Photo Credit: fineartamerica