It was so devastating for the baby.
The first thing every new father has to remember: A baby cries because of something she want or she has problems, and she don’t know how to communicate. The cries is their language. She’s not trying to offend you with anything. So don’t think she is crying because she wants to take revenge on daddy or hurt daddy’s feeling.
And don’t think you have an excuse to slammed, throw, shake, smash, burn the cigarette mark your own baby just because you have a bad day, or your relationship with your wife turns sour, or your boss hammered you with your lousy work.
There must be a reason why was he doing something violence. One that I could think of, is the stress has coated his decision and behaviour. He thought he can handle the stress but he can’t. When his stressful and unpredicted behaviour became his judgement, he start going something beyond normal people do. The father became a time bomb, even the baby’s cry was like irritating alarm clock in the morning, where you want to smash it down so you can sleep 5 more minutes before you go to work. Trust me, I understand the father situation. No one can stand with the baby’s crying that lasting for more than one hour.
If we don’t hold on to something, our sanity evaporates and the domestic violence takes place. We are taught by our religion to istighfar and praise Allah and pray to keep ourselves calm.
I remember when we have our first baby, Amirul, I was so stressful when trying to get my son to sleep. One night, he hurt my feelings by crying like a non-stop remix song and made me feel like I was a failed father. I had painful headache as if a worm was savaging my brain. I don’t know what to do. So I spanked him, asked him to keep quiet, and forced him to sleep. Then, I took a long gaze through my window for a minute and began to cry.
I told myself I would become a monster if I didn’t do something.
Then, I started reading on crying doesn’t harm your baby. I bought parenting books mostly on how to handle stress. We even attend a talk about parenting and seek advise from other parent.
I hope that the younger father, including me, don’t take it personally about your baby’s crying. I know it’s hard. But if there’s nothing wrong with your baby (you have check the temperature, change diapers, and all), still he won’t stop crying for no reason, then let the baby cries. It’s not harmful to baby.
Try mentally change the crying into something that make you happy, like when your hear your favorite music. At least, it’ll help you to release stress..