KambingBujang

The sun is shinning — indicates that she’s on your side — as if granting you an additional courages to your desire for a beach or theme park. You wear your sunglasses just to thank god how good the weather is. You put your smile on your face, without even forget to kiss your lovely wife and kids, and completed your things with a dedicated checklist.

You put your key into the ignition, pray to god that everything will be OK before you twist the key and hear the roar of the car engine. You push your pedal to pursue the place of interest that you and wife have planned it for a month or two.

You, also, bring your lovely children along. They just as normal as ordinary kids. And yes, they play a lot. They play a lot that they don’t know how to stop playing regardless of where they are. Even in the car.

Just as the bright day follows you, not for so long..

..when your children do this nightmares that nearly ruin your holiday:

 

#5 Hazardous Lights Went Crazy

“Kids, I know that you’re mesmerized the beauty of the blink light that affected you like twinkle twinkle little stars. But please, daddy’s driving. You don’t want this car get stuck on top of the mountain right?”

 like this family?

My kid like that blinking lights or the sound of the blinking. Klik, klak, klik klak when you hit the hazardous light. This was what actually happened to me: my kid turned the hazardous light on, then I turned it off. A millisecond after, he turn it on again. Turned-off-and-turned-on nightmare happened for about two minutes and then…

I finally gave his hand an awesome pinch. He cried and turned to her mum.

#4 Sudden Screaming of Nothingness

 

Stop screaming, please address your problem to the right channel

When I drive, it’s good to a silence moment or small talk with my wife to keep my sanity on driving concentration.

..And then, out of sudden, there’s a screaming, seemed to warn me there’s something bad happened or would happen in front.

But there’s nothing.

Nothing happened.

So it was actually my kids’ screaming that startled me. It gave terror because I would lose the car balance just by hearing a jolt of screamings as if I was jabbed with a knife through my heart

So kid stop screaming or you guys will not going to watch Kung Fu Panda anymore!!

 

#4 Pekaboo Driving

Sometimes it’s good to hear my children laughing and giggling at the back of your car. Once, my children were playing peekabo with each other and they just launched eternal laughings and it gave me a peace of mind.

But what didn’t give a peace of mind was that when one of my kids got bored and tried to play with me. But this time, he didn’t close his eyes to do peekabo at me. He just closed my eyes so that I could peekabo the car in front of me, I guess.

I just lost my road orientation for while because I lost my vision momentarily. My life was at my kid’s hands. Thank god, nothing happened. So I drove slowly on the left lane while gave a power lecture to my kids who didn’t seem to understand a thing I had said.

So tell me, kids, do I get applause when I peekabo/crash the car in front of me, or do I get infinite punches from the driver?

 

#2 Gear Shifting Assistant

To ease my worriness, I was trying to enjoy the view of the countryside even though I knew I felt regret for not buying a GPS. I was lost — lost with two tantrum kids who were hungrier than mindless zombies.

I kept the momentum going to smooth the traffic that day because there were numbers of cars on the road. Suddenly, I realized the gear has been dropped even though my both hand were at the steering.

Awesome. Wait, did I use my foot to shift gear. If it so, why I changed gear when I there’s no need do that at the first place?

I looked at the gear to realized my kid was involved in this thing. I imagined that he must thought that we were in the important race of F1 Championship. I tried to vision inside my kid’s mind. Well, I guess that if he didn’t shift the gear — as a gear shifting assistant to the racer — we would lose that important F1 title to our opponents.

His face frowned upon me with his eyebrows gravitated like V shaped, while his hand kept shifting the gear.

I screamed again and again. Again and again, to make him stop from what he was doing. I told him afterwards, “If you keep doing that, we will accidentally fly to the sky, because the road hates us and we’re never going to see mum again.”

 

#1 Two drivers are better than one

I have a 1.5 year-old daughter. She is as naughty as a boy. Sometimes, people mistakes her by calling her ‘good boy’ or ‘someday you will be just like your dad’.

But one thing that gives me nightmare more than an average boy could is that she wants to be a driver like his dad.

So imagine this: while the car was in motion, about 70 km/j, she wanted to take over the steering. I screamed at the top of my lungs so see there’re four hands on that steering.

First thing came in my mind: Did I have a superpower to see that my shoulders grows additional alien hands? or was it a terrorist happened to appear out of nowhere, wanted to carjack me?

There goes my little girl, trying so hard to be a driver. Wait until you’re 18.

 

My kid had given me nightmares enough to remind you that, if you don’t want to give yourself a nightmare while driving with your kids, teach your kids some manners: how to behave when you are inside the car (or sometime I fail that battle, they just don’t listen and keep playing as if they’re inside a portable playground). Or just tight a rope around them and place duck tapes on their mouth. There goes a solution, in a cruel way. OK. Don’t do that.