Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior?

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This week question on Quora is:

Is Amy Chua right when she explains “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” in an op/ed in the Wall Street Journal?

Chinese mothers are superior. I respect them for what they sacrifice for their children. Their method, unfortunately, makes other people, especially in Western cultures, feel uncomfortable, offended. Strict parenting such as spanking is one is the best method in Asian cultures. I grew up in strict parenting, and I appreciate my mom for that. I become a better man.

I don’t know if you guys notice but, I have observed a mother of three children who was so strict and fierce, the kids were so behaved, they did show manners to people around them. However, I notice answer regarding suicide statistics among Asian teens

I see Asian teens in my clinic; many are academically quite successful, but are also the ones I worry most about re: suicide. The depression red flags are different for many Asian teens, who may be getting good grades, are still engaged in extra-curricular activities, while profoundly struggling with self-identity, self-esteem, and rigidity in thought about potential outcomes (“either I have to be a Harvard lawyer, or I’ll be so ashamed that the only outlook is death”). Also very problematic is the stigma against outsiders (non-family) giving help – many parents do not want their children to see a professional, wanting to keep all issues within the family.

Suzan Song, global child/adolescent psychiatrist

My mom had stopped being so fearsome when I went to secondary school. From the day 1 of being Form 1 boy at boarding school, my mom had been approaching me by giving thoughtful advice. Strict parenting suppose to stop when our children decide things on their own. Feel pressure if they’re being treated as a small child.

Even with spanking, swinging rotan, and spanking, my affection for my mother is inflating as I get older:

In recent years, when I compare notes with my Chinese American friends and peers, one thing I consistently hear was the lack of love from their parents, or that the love was conditional on success. I never had that. My parents loved me no matter what and they made that clear, not just in words, but in actions. Despite every time I got scolded (man, the English word for scold, which is the correct translation, does not begin to really capture the hurricane of verbal abuse a Chinese woman is capable of), it would hurt and build resentment, but I could never look back and not see it coming from love and hopeful expectation for my future. Everything that they did, every sacrifice that they made, was to give me a better future than the past that they came from.

Daniel Shi, Chinese

Bottom Line. 

Every parenting method has its pros and cons. All that I think of is to weight our decisions upon nurturing our children in the most awesome way, or we can mix and cook all of the method in a lab and produce the hybrid one.

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