Parenting

Helicopter Parent

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Helicopter parent??

Are you one of them?? I wish that I am not one in the statistic.

It is true that we want the best in our children. We put our best effort to make sure they excel in everything they do.

However, do we need to be that extend to use our power or influence to put our children among the best.

They’re pros and cons. But I believe, after at the age of 13, we need to let our children to make their own decisions.

As a parent, we give them guidance and act as an advisory  Do not make decision on behalf of him, let them feel the responsibilities and feel the risk. Let them feel the trust we put in them. Let them take the responsibilities given and perform it well.

I always remind to myself do not cross the limit. What are my expectation maybe not the same expectation of our children. Every child is unique and talented. As parent, our encouragement and support should always with them.

So what’s your opinion?

So I Stopped Writing For A Year

stop writing

I stopped writing for a year right now. Something happened: I lost my interest in writing, out of the blue. It’s like a draining water or a car of empty fuel. I did writing an article or two but it’s not like I was before. I used to write at least three long article in a week.

Please, don’t do dirty dancing in front of me, honey. I’m trying to battle with my own enemy; myself. Sadly, I blame it on the universe. As accusatively as bewitched blamed it on the weatherman.

And good felt good about blaming it on someone else.

I think I’m going to stop writing this year too. Somehow I lost interest in it. But I cried my heart out to force my writing spirit to come back.

Why? Because only writing can make feel great. Even if I write 2000 words long, CTRL+A, and push DELETE, I still feel good about it. It’s a wonder that how my fingers are wildly roaming on the land of cluttered alphabets and numbers can give me a breath of peace.

I discovered there were many obtacles. When I was full of heart in writing a thousand words, facebook took that awesomeness away, pinterest blowed my mind, and Instapaper begged me to read the unread articles. At this vey minute, I heard my dear daughter were coughing endlessly through the night.

I cried. Take a full deep breath, try to regain my mood again.

Read More…

Tips for raising a well-rounded boy

Amirul turn 5 last Friday (Feb 8) and he is the first child of the family. Of course both me and Mr Hubby have high expectation on him especially becoming role model to his siblings and can take care of the family if unfortunate happen to Mr Hubby. Raising a well-rounded child especially boy is a challenge. Time, effort and patience are the key words to success in rising a well-rounded boy.

With Amirul personality : soft spoken, interested in Daddy’s gadget rather than socialize with people, and hard to focus are additional challenges that we need to overcome.

Reading tips for raising a well-rounded boy from Baby Centre, some of the tips are true and some are not.

TIP 1 : Give him some responsibility – Following instruction and finishing tasks are skills that are often slow to develop in boy
OUR OPINION : This is true. Responsibility makes Amirul more responsible. We give routine to Amirul. After finished playing the toys, don’t leave the toys in mess. He need calls Widad and together both of them do the clean up.

TIP 2 : Let him show his emotions -It’s much healthier than bottling it up. Then, once he’s calmed down, you can talk to him about what he’s feeling and why
OUR OPINION :  This is true. Amirul shows tear and anger towards his sister/ friends.  Nevertheless,we teach him to be patient and learnt to be tolerate. But, there is time when he restrain tear coming out.

TIP 3 : Give him plenty of physical affection - Even if he says he doesn’t want any affection, he still needs it just as much
OUR OPINION : This is true.  Affection soften Amirul’s mischievousness. I always remind myself now is the time I need to shows all the affection cause as he is growing older, he’s likely to shy away from hugs and kisses just like Mr Hubby. Furthermore, Amirul loves to hug and kiss both of us. There is time when I feel suffocated with his loves affection towards me. Non stop hugs and kisses.. ngeeee.

TIP 4 : Don’t try to cease his enthusiasm - Just make sure you remind your son that there are times and places when he’ll need to calm it down a little
OUR OPINION : This is true. Mr Hubby always give freedom to his children to explore. Adventure is out there but do not off the limit.

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TIP 5 : Don’t worry if he likes ” girls things” - It’s a great way for him to develop his kind and nurturing side
OUR OPINION : This is true. He cuddle teady bear, he becoming a loving brother and son.

TIP 6 : Work on his social skills - Boys don’t form close friendships
OUR OPINION : Yes Amirul is anti-social once. As he grow older, he starts making friends, share his belonging. Every evening, I would let Amirul socialize with the same age neighborhood.

TIP 7 : Introduce him to music - Music lessons can also sharpen a young child’s thinking skills and improve memory
OUR OPINION : Not time yet. Amirul do not fascinate music. I don’t mind if he do not  captivate the music. Ngeeee

TIP 8 : Encourage his interest
OUR OPINION : This is true. We found that Amirul loves drawing. We encourage him drawing and he feel so bless and happier. Amirul would draw anything he likes for few weeks or month until he find new liking

TIP 9 : Appraise the positives - being good and let him know that you appreciate the effort.
OUR OPINION : This is true. We always reward and appraise Amirul. Rewards normally chocolate or his favorite foods.

1st January 2013

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First day of school. New school,new environment, new teacher – wish you all the best dearie children. May you become soleh and solehah children. Amin

6 Creative Ways to Encourage Your Children To Go To School

Although learning and school is an important part of a child’s life it is sometimes not on the top of their list of priorities and it can be difficult to convince them to go to school. There are plenty of excuses from not feeling well to simply not wanting to go to school on a particular day. Here are 6 ways to make your child excited about school:
  1. Convey to them the importance of learning.
    Although school may not always be the most fun activity that children participate in, it is an important thing that all children should experience. By conveying the importance of learning to your children starting at a very young age education will become one of their strong values and that will follow them throughout their life.
  2. Remind them that it will allow them to make new friends
    During school children are surrounded by a group of their peers every day. Although school is a time for learning, it is also a time to refine social skills. Children can socialize with their peers between classes, during break times, during lunch or snack hours (depending on the age of the child), and sometimes even during class when working in groups or participating in group discussions.
  3. Entice them with small prizes or stickers
    For younger children it is important to never underestimate the power of a sticker or a small prize. If your young child is having a rough time getting out of bed to go to school in the morning it can often be helpful to bribe them with a small prize or sticker. For your older children you can offer a delicious breakfast or a shopping trip for attendance and excellence in school.
  4. Be picky about schools to make sure the teachers are high quality, making children more interested in school
    When teachers are excited about learning it tends to make children excited about learning. When choosing schools for your children, take the time to meet with the teaching staff. Making sure that the teaching staff at your child’s school is above average will give them a better learning opportunity.
  5. Help them with their schoolwork at home
    Showing an interest in your child’s schoolwork is beneficial on many different levels. For one, it will help your child learn if they have questions and you have answers for them. Helping your child with their homework also creates a strong bond with your children that is built on the ideals that schoolwork and education is important. Once again, this will make education into one of your child’s long-term values.
  6. Don’t allow your child to stay home from school
     This seems so simple but it is incredibly important to making sure your child goes to school. By allowing your child to stay home from school here and there, it will show them that staying home from school is acceptable behavior. By consistently making your child go to school they will not see staying home from school as an option.
Author Pam Johnson enjoys mothering her children and blogging. She is a contributing writer for termlifeinsurance.org.
If you have an article that you would like to share, please email me at: filtuse@gmail.com
Photo: .curt

How To Correct Your Kids

When raising children there are a lot of situations that can be difficult to handle. One of the most difficult is deciding how you want to handle when your children are doing something wrong. Whether it be a common practice that they are not doing in the most efficient way or if they are doing something that is morally wrong. It is important to decide how you want to handle these issues. Here are some tips that may help you decide:

1. Positive Reinforcement
Some parents make the choice to deal with their children positively, no matter what the situation. This path is often seen as the best way to avoid stifling their creativity and the person that they truly are. Positive reinforcement is defined as “the offering of desirable effects or consequences for a behavior with the intention of increasing the chance of that behavior being repeated in the future”. This means that in order to use positive reinforcement when your child needs to be corrected the process would be to show them the correct way of doing things and reward them when they proceed in that fashion, and also when they continue to do so in the future. This reward can be anything from complimenting them on the way that they have done something to a physical reward. Whatever you decide the reward to be, making sure the child knows what they are being rewarded for, otherwise the reward is wasted and their behavior will not be reinforced.
2. Negative Reinforcement
Negative reinforcement is on the opposite end of the spectrum, but can be used in some situations, while still using positive reinforcement in others. Negative reinforcement is defined as “the reinforcing of a response by giving an aversive stimulus when the response is not made and omitting the aversive stimulus when the response is made”. This means that when you see your child doing something wrong that they need to be corrected for, you make it uncomfortable for them to continue doing this negative action. For example, if you witnessed your child hitting another child while they were playing, using negative reinforcement would mean doing something like pulling them aside and scolding them. Depending on the situation, other examples of negative reinforcement can include spanking, scolding, taking something away from them, grounding them, and anything else a parent sees fit that will teach their child a lesson. Negative reinforcement can be difficult for some parents because they do not enjoy making their children upset. It is a judgement call based on personal preference whether or not a parent wants to practice negative reinforcement in their home.

No matter what way you decide to correct your child, whether you use negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement, or a combination of the two, it is most important that you be consistent in what you expect from your child or children. It is important that they know what is expected of them and this will be unclear and confusing to them if the standards are constantly changing.

This is a guest post from Pam Johnson. If you have stories you want to publish on KambingBujang about parenting tips, household economy, young parent, or anything related to parenting, please email me at: filtuse@gmail.com  
Author Pam Johnson enjoys mothering her children and blogging. She is a contributing writer for creditreport.org.
Photo Source: techne

Spanking?? Its a method of Disciplining Children

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Spanking you children? In educating and disciplining the children, I prefer my partner to determine which is the best for our children. Whether  to be authoritative parent, authoritarian parent, or permissive parent.  Above three parenting styles, my partner is believed that the authoritarian parenting is more effective in disciplining the children. Authoritarian parenting, also called strict parenting

So, one way to discipline our children is spanking. However, we do not blindly spanking our children. This is how we spanking our children :

[1] Spank in private
We spank them at home. However, if we are not at home, we will pinch them unnoticed by those around. Out of sudden, they only hear the kids were crying. Little threaten like, ” You want to get scold by mummy or not ?” also work sometimes

[2] Never harm the child
We would pinch on their thigh or spank on their calf using open hand

[3] Do not hit the child with implements or objects -
We have cane at home. Hang on together with the car’s key. It the most seen place at home. This cane be meant for their attention, as a warning sign and establish our authority

[4] Give them one warning
First is warning, if the warning is ignored, a pinch will descend on their thighs

Although some parents disagree with authoritarian parenting, but we believe authoritarian parenting have resulted more positive child outcomes , like more focused and have good achievement

Tiger Parenting Gets Criticized via KambingBujang

Chinese Parents are more Superior than Western Parents via KambingBujang

 

Children Are Not Small-Sized Adult

Photo by [The US Army]

Mother-in-law always remind me, Amirul & Widad should be treat like a child not an adult.

Children is an individual age between day 1 to 12 years old, before they enter adolescence age. At this range of age, their biological, psychological and emotional growth rapidly. Like a sponge absorbing the water, that is children, they imitate what we say, do, act, sometimes, even what we eat and wear. They pretend to be like us. Unlike an adult, who can think rationally, a child need their parent’s guidance, advises, instructions, supervision before they enter adulthood

Children at this phase still learning where most of us parents guiding them. Even the simple thing like how to eat & drink, how to socialize & manners with adults, how to be brave and independent. In short,everything should be shown how. you remember the magpie bird ads?

“Ni burung apa, ni murung murai”

Children need repetition, Adult instantly understand

[1] Children who are just learning, need repetition and step-by-step instructions. They take time to remember and process a new task
[2] Unlike an adults who will continue to act after it is taught,

But parents always forget about that, and sometimes parents’ patience is tested when they forget simple things and need guidance for the similar task. “I’ve told you just now, don’t you remember that”

Children attention span is short, Adult is longer
[1] The longest is 5minutes, children attention’s span is short and love to do multiple things in one time. If you read with your most attractive voice for example, they still not interested to wait until first page is finish and move to next page of story book

[2] Adult can spend like 1hours to read book or updating FB. uhukkssss

But parents sometimes forget that, and scold their children for not sit still and listening to their story. Then become worst, when they blame themselves for not having narrative talent. “

Playing is Children learning process, Experience is Adult learning process
[1] Its undoubted that children love to play, They play most of the time, the moment they wake up until they doze off, that how they learn new thing. Children is learning through play. Through play, children develop social and cognitive skills, mature emotionally, and gain the self-confidence that required to engage in new experiences and environments

[2] While adult, learn through experience. Adult make decision and solve the problem in order to use the new ideas gained from the experience.

But parents sometimes forget that, too much play time is not good and they prefer children to get involve and help in more adult activities like gardening, painting, clean up the mess and do something with extrinsic goals

Why Toddler’s Minds Need Stimulation

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Toddlers are always on the go and in search of new things to do and learn. It is important to engage children in this age group in learning activities that will stimulate the mind and enhance learning potential. While most of the cells in the brain form before children are born, important connections between brain cells are not completed until infancy and into the toddler years, making this time critical in the development of a child’s brain.

Several factors contribute to the development of children in infancy and early childhood. Nutrition, genetics, love, activity and parental response are all key to the positive development of a child’s brain. Children have extremely active minds during early childhood. A toddler’s brain is two times more active than an adult’s and early interaction with the world around him are crucial to the brain’s development. While there are many educational toys designed to enhance early learning skills, love and exposure to a variety of new experiences is the best way to stimulate a toddler’s mind and promote early learning. Exposing children to things that are based on the five senses is essential to the brain’s development.

The first three years of a child’s life is when the brain absorbs information easily. Children learn language, word pronunciation and grammar skills easily during the toddler years with simple and repeated exposure. The ability to learn language skills easily continues until approximately 10 years of age. Some ways to stimulate brain development and early language skills are singing to young children and reading to them daily. Parents who respond to a toddler’s babbling will help children learn their native language more easily. Those who nurture their children early in life with love and emotional support will help stimulate emotional intelligence. The amygdala is the part of the brain responsible for regulating emotion. When stimulated early in life, children will learn to be happy, trust others and have empathy for others. When toddlers are exposed to interaction with other people, they are developing important social skills. Playing with other children their own age will help toddlers learn to share and care for others. Most toddlers three to four years old have developed the ability to share with others by this time.

While it is important to stimulate a toddler’s mind, over-stimulation may be stressful for children and cause adverse effects. Toddlers should have scheduled activities to help them learn, but they also need free time to play and create on their own. Even watching too much television can be stressful for toddlers. Some signs of over-stimulation include turning away, crying or frustration. Nurturing toddlers with love and providing a stable home environment is key to enhancing brain development. Hands-on experiences supervised by parents are another important part of brain development and learning.

Authors Bio: This article was written by Briana Kelly, who has over 5 years experience writing articles and guest blogs on the subject of childcare and parenting. She also writes parenting guides on behalf of Giraffe Childcare Dublin, Ireland. 

This is a guest blog. If anyone has an article to publish, please email me at:  filtuse@gmail.com, kambing.huda@gmail.com

Daddy & Mummy Sees Things Differently

I have to admit that Mr Hubby have very good parenting style. He is highly patience when dealing with clingy and whining Amirul and has tough stamina when dealing with mischievous Widad. Daddy prefer his kids to learn the consequences from their own actions and its the learning process to adapt the challenging world and building up their self esteem. However Mummy, loves to protect her kids tho they a grown up adult. :D

Daddy prefer to face danger, Mummy prefer to protect from danger
Daddy : Adik be careful. The stairs is steep and you might fall down. Daddy just sitting on the couch watching Adik climbing up the stairs
Mummy : Adik be careful . She already besides Adik to ensure that she is safe going up and down the stairs

The different between Mummy and Daddy.
Daddy wants Adik to take risk and learn the consequences of trying new thing
Mummy doesn’t want Adik to take risk as she knew the consequences of it.

Daddy sees as whole, Mummy sees in details
Mummy :“Adik, button ni kat depan, Ishhhh daddy ni”
Daddy : Man’s shirt, the button is located in front of the short.
Mummy : Girl’s shirt is different.
Daddy : But its still look ok on Adik and people don’t realize it.
Mummy : But this shirt design, the button should be at the back, not in front of the shirt

The different between Mummy and Daddy.
Daddy sees as long as Adik is happy its ok and its not a big deal
Mummy sees it wrong that Adik shouldn’t wear the shirt that way and thinking whats others might think when looking at Adik wearing the shirt in wrong manner

Daddy is losing the battle to won the another battle, Mummy is always winning the battle
Amirul : Daddy, Abang nak main Dragon games kat Wii
Daddy : OK Jom. Dah main, put back you console in the box
Amirul : OK daddy

Amirul : Mummy, Abang nak main Dragon games kat Wii
Mummy : Mner bleh, kan tadi Abang dah main, kena blaja lak. Enough, help Mummy to put all your toys inside the box , FASTER!!!!!!
Amirul : Abang penat la Mummy

See the different between Daddy and Mummy.
Daddy is coll and & relax, less pressure. Winning the battle is NOT the objective, but winning the Amirul’s heart is more important
Mummy is uncool & loves to put more stress. Winning the battle is the objective. Every rule need to be follow

See, daddy is real cool, Daddy plays guitar for you
Jahid, don’t teach Widad guitar ok?? tho its look cool when a girl plays guitar

Children Tantrums

Children when they frustrated/ acquired for attention/ in the disappointment,  they will throw out tantrums. Tantrums strike regardless place or time. They will shouting, roll on the floor, rush around the room; wild and screaming throwing things in his hand like toys, milk bottles, etc. They actually out of control; neither we nor them can control their own feeling.

She may scream and scream until she makes herself hoarse; makes herself retch; even makes herself throw up [ source: Babycentre]

Amirul : 4 years old

Amirul starts SULKING / WHINING/ SCREAMING -

with this one powerful sentence ” Abang nk kena cubit/ scold ker?? ” terus Amirul behave

 

Video : Widad : 2years Old

How to handle tantrums :

  • Good behavior leads to good reward;  Behave like a good boy/girl like this
  • Be cool and relax. Just watch how long they will behaving like that. I’m getting use to Amirul/Widad’s whining/ crying. Its like melody.. huhuh
  • Don’t giving in to their acts/ tantrums . This will make them feel their victory. ” Yeay, mummy/daddy listen to me, now i can do it again in the future,” goshh NO
  • They stop whining/ screaming/ and settle down their own feeling. ” Come hugs and kiss Mummy, Now you tell me again, what do you want”
  • Last resort : Give a warning alarm like pinching, grounded for 15 minutes,

Real Difference Between Boys and Girls

I’d read this article at parenting.com which i found quite interesting. The real difference between boy and girl. Alhamdulillah. I have a pair which me and Mr Hubby feel the differences between rising a little prince and princess

Little Ben 10 was here!! Ready for actions

  • They like motion : Boys prefer to watch mechanical motion over human motion

Digger, tractor, car etc

  • They’ve got the moves :  Girls do talk first, but boys are likely to start walking — and hit all the major motor milestones

His first step at 11months old

  • They’re more emotional than you think : boys tend to be more easily agitated than girls and have a harder time self-soothing – Yes, Amirul manja. He hugs, kiss, me alot compare to Widad and most of all, he need me as his bolster to sleep
  • They love a crowd : boys would rather look at a mobile than a single face – No really, because Amirul is a shy little man. Introvert personality
  • They’re (comparatively) fearless : boys were much less likely than girls the same age to report that they startles in response to loud noises or stimuli – I’m not sure, still early to say so

Daddy’s LittlePrincess is in the house

  • They’re made to mimic : girls excel at imitation

Put baby to sleep. patting and sing lullaby. Ya Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah. [berzikir]

  • They’re good with their hands : they use eating utensils sooner; and they write sooner (and more neatly), too

Amirul 4, Widad 2. Both doing art using water color. Widad suka makan sdn, Amirul memanjang nk kena suap haishhhh

  • They may be better listeners : when you talk, the girls will be more likely to become engaged – Widad very fascinate tv, animation, our conversation
  • They like face time : Girls are more likely to establish and maintain eye contact, and are attracted to individual faces - Erhmm,. tak sure la, ada ker???
  • They talk sooner : Girls understand what you’re saying before boys do, start speaking earlier – Widad starts talking very early around 1yrs ++,  Dia stop cakap bler tido jer. ada jer dier nk cakap. very cute and sound so cheeky esp bler dier takmo sleep and mintak macam2. ” Mummy gatal kat sini la, nak ubat please, Mummy nk ubat, Adik sakit mata”

Its amazing true and rising both of them giving us new challenges and adventures

Amirul Milestones : Amiruls’ School Activities

Amirul goes to school and he is happy. Widad goes to school, she is happy. When they happy, Mummy Daddy also happy. Because Mummy Daddy go to work hoping that they enjoy the moment while we  are not around. As a parent who need to work for living [of course. since both of us are not born as millionaire, huhu] we really depend on the  the caretaker at daycare.

I am not totally depend and 100% trust the caretaker, I will occasionally check on them. Check in the sense of their activities, school environment and cleanliness, sleeping areas. Hahahha, I am typical mother.

How I do the checking,
[1] There is a notice board at school’s living room. Every activity done by the children, they will display over there, and i everyweek will go and check on Amirul’s work. plus snap the photos
[2] How to check toilet hygiene : Mummy, abang nk weewee la, ok pergi toilet weewee. I ikut la Amirul skali pg toilet walhal, our house just few step away.
[3] How to check kitchen hygiene : I saw Widad comot with dirty hand, Adik jom wash hand kat kitchen.
[4] How to check sleeping area: Adik where’s your doldol [Widad's babydoll]. Kat atas Mummy, jom pg amik, nanti mummy nk wash.

Regarding their school activities, I’m satisfied and glad at least Amirul can write, read, recognize, memorize and he is enjoy the 9 hours stay there

 Fish Wall Paper

Cut and paste and Mr Bread

Physical exercise – spot amirul & widad

Creative activity

Story telling and Maths

Unimaginable Homework for Amirul [4 years old Kid]

Amirul was given 2 worksheets to finish during the weekend.

However,i think the given worksheets not suitable for Amirul.

imageOrdering Numbers

For age 4years old:
The average 4-year-old can count up to ten, although he may not get the numbers in the right order every time – Babycentre

Amirul’s Ability : He can count up to 10. But he sometimes do not get the numbers in right order.

Good Side :

  • Me and Amirul working together to finish the homework. Team work
  • Two way communication between me and Amirul. Parent-child bonding time although its also tough time for them to bear if they get scold by parent
  • Teaching Amirul not only teacher’s responsibility but also ours

Bad Side :

  • I think 4 years old kid should emphasize on motor skills such as : drawing, coloring, cutting using scissors

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Is this Amirul’s homework or mine?? What is the objective of this homewor??

  • Amirul knew daddy’s name and my name but he still do not recognize the alphabet correctly. So how to spell Daddy Mummy’s name
  • So this is Amirul’s homework or mine???

NOTE : Again, kids nowadays live in very challenging world. Just looked at the worksheet given to the children, that was my standard 1 homework back in 1990.

Amirul has Homework

Baru 4 years old dh ada homework???

Unbelieveable but thats what happen to Amirul. The teachers gave him homework not everyday or everyweekend.but everytime there is public holiday he will be given 2/3 spreadsheet to finished.

I take it on the positive side which is good that Amirul practising what he does at school. Just like below photo, he managed to write word ‘RED’  hasil dari blaja kt school and homework yg teacher kasik. Buku tue our own collection not from school. Bagus la, 4 tahun dh bleh menulis.

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But on the negative side, i don’ think 4 years old preschooler should be given homework. They go to school to have fun through learning. However, homework is not fun at all and is stressfull when you don’t want to do it.

Kids nowadays living in very competative world. Parents want to have kids yang pandai Membaca, Menulis dan Mengira before enter the primary school. If possible nak anak2 blaja additional language eg: mandarin or arabic. Not to be kiasu tapi that the fact that we have to face and accept and adapt to it.

Tips & Tricks for Working MOTHER w Toddlers and NO MAID

Photo by : tifotter

If YES, that you are a working mother with toddlers and no maid, I would like to share tips and tricks perhaps useful for you in managing your house, children and enjoy your ME time as well

HOUSEKEEPING / ORGANIZING

[1] Clothing

Clothes – I do my laundry twice a week except for children’s school uniforms
Tips & Tricks :

  1. Sorting clothes before laundry . Sort clothing by washing method, color and type of fabric [Small&big/ dark colour & white colour/ cotton & silk]
  2. Laundering the bra/panties/tudung into mesh zipper bag. Use ‘quick wash’ instead of ‘fuzzy’
  3. Soak Amirul’s school uniform in small pile and wash before sleep
  4. Folding Clothes – I’m using basket system like this or you can try hanging system
  5. Ironing Clothes – Once a week . Plan the whole week office attire and consider if the top cover the pockets of the pants? If yes, just skip the upper portion of your slacks

[2] Clean and tidiness -

  • Daily : Sweep the floor after kids go to bed. Mr Hubby bring kids to bed I’m cleaning the living room,
  • Weekly : Vacuum / Mop / Toilet Cleaning
  • Children’s Toys : Do ask your kids to help you keeping the toys back into the toy’s basket, or asked them to put the toys into his/her ‘favorites bag’. Buy 2-in-1 storage box. Mine can use as storage box and stool
  • Trash: Make a habit to clean your dustbin every night before go to sleep and put infront of front door. The moment you step out the door, you will accidentally stepped on your garbage that you put yesterday and automatically pick up trash for the trash thrown out
  • Kitchen : Wash all the dishes after meal. Compulsory with no exception. So that there will be no unwashed dishes left in the sink

FOODS / EATING/ KITCHEN CHORES
Instant foods is not recommended but if you are working, foods preparation is very time consuming. What i normally do is marinate the chicken and put in freezer, before I go to work, just place the the chicken at chiller compartment and by the time I’m coming back the chicken already defrost. Place the chicken on the pan and roasted it. EASY, QUICK, HEALTHY. The only vegie that available in my fridge are carrot and mushroom. Just steam or fry with no oil. We eat rice only on weekend. Instead of eating rice we opt for mee/spaghetti. With a lot of frozen foods like sausages, chicken ball, nugget, crab finger, you name it, all in my fridge. Don’t fry with oil the sausages/nuggets etc, put in your fying pan put in slow heat and leave it wait until cook.

While waiting your foods to be ready, you can have you children-parent quality time like asking what they did at school, watching tv , play together.

We have foods heaven only on weekend either at MIL’s house or dining at fancy restaurant. MIL always says, eat like a beggar during weekdays and like a king during weekend.. huhuh

I’m doing the cooking, Mr Hubby do the cleaning.

CHILDREN

  • Eating time : 8 – 830pm. Normally we eat very light dinner because they already eaten at school. Mee/rice. Both Amirul and widad is really simple
  • Sleeping time : 830 – 9pm – Ready to sleep. Daddy will bring Widad to sleep , Amirul still have time either to belajar/watching cartoon/play games. Amirul sleeps 10pm.
  • Play time :

ME Time
Yeay now house is clean, kids is sleeping. Mummy and daddy can have Me time. Now My Hubby plays guitar and I updating this post. :D

 

Hafalan Shalat Delisa

OST Hafalan Shalat Delisa

Delisa a cheerful little girl, lived in a small village named Lhok Nga on the coast of Aceh, with 3 sisters and mother while her father is an oil tanker workers of an international oil company.

On December 26, 2004 morning,  Delisa with Ummi was getting prepared for prayer exam  when suddenly an earthquake has occurred.  Ummi has promised Delisa with gold necklace if Delisa passed the exam. Unfortunately, while Delisa was performing her prayer exam, suddenly the tsunami struck, eradicate their small village, destroy their school, and washed away Delisa as well as hundreds of thousands of other in Aceh and other parts of the coast in Southeast Asia.

Delisa was rescued by a soldier named Smith, after days passed out on the rocky hill. Unfortunately, serious injuries makes Delisa’s right leg must be amputated. It makes soldier Smith wanted to adopt her, but Delisa’s father managed to find Delisa. Delisa happily reunited with her father, though sad to hear news of her sisters has died, and Ummi still not found.

Delisa has become a little angel who shared a laugh in every presence. Although it was heavy, Delisa has been taught how painful can be a force to keep pace. Although tears wont stop flowing, but Delisa trying to understand what it is sincere, doing something without expecting replies

‘Delisa love Ummi because of Allah’

[1] Its a simple movie but the way its convey the message its really good.

[2] Berbuat baik, dibalas baik, namun KEIKHLASAN adalah penting. Bukan semata-mata kerana hadiah atau balasan

[3] Filem yang penuh pengajaran dan keinsafan.

[4] Fully recommended

NOTE : Boleh ditonton di Astro First

 

Amirul/Widad Year End Performance

AMIRUL :

Time frame of evaluation : 5Months
Overall :
[1] Amirul shows a lot of improvement in term of his speech, self-care, discipline and and social skill
[2] His motor and cognitive skill also improving due to overwhelming of creative activities from the school
[3] Everyday, I am amaze with his new vocabulary, his capability of singing and recite doa, counting, pronounce jawi, recognize colors etc.

 Basic skills : Objects recognition, naming, calculating

Amirul’s Exercise book 

Amirul’s outdoor activity

WIDAD

Time frame of evaluation : 5Months
Overall :
[1] Widad understands instructions well and can express what she wants
[2] Motor skill improving where she can scribble and grip pencil steadily

[1]  Basically, Amirul and Widad went to Daycare with Preschool Programme

[2] The Daycare has systematic preschool programme with valid license from JKM. The preschool activities including physical activity, reading and puppet time, crafts, socializing, individual activities, routine meals and snacks time.

[3] The Daycare has balance teachers: students proportion, 1 teacher :5 students.

[4] The Daycare has clean and tidy, well arrange and systematic arrangement of toys, books and learning aid equipment

[5]  The Daycare can handle frozen EBM, healthy menu, clean kitchen and eating area, safe and clean with anti-slippery mat in toilet

[6]  The Daycare has established ground rules. eg : strict-sick policy, operating hours,

[7]  The Daycare has sufficient area for children to run and do outdoor activities

[8] The Daycare does not has established good reputation as it just open for 6months, however, the Daycare has well arranged teacher-parent meeting day, open day and as months pass by, the number of student increase and the staffs remain the same with increase in number to cater the additional number of students

Bulletin Board and outdoor play yard

Just walking distance

My Key Performance Index(KPI) the ‘BEST’ Preschool/Daycare for Amirul & Widad

Another two days before we move into the new year 2012. Parents would be busy with their children school’s preparation. We are not left behind to find pre-school for Amirul and Daycare for Widad. Thinking about which is the BEST preschool for Amirul/Widad

Here is my OBJECTIVES for Amirul’s Preschool/Daycare

[1] Amirul at minimum rate can recognize, identify and correctly pronounce alphabets, numbers, jawi, colors, shape, etc

[2] Widad at minimum rate can recognize  alphabets, numbers, jawi, colors, shape, etc

[3] Amirul/Widad can develop good social skill with others than family members.

[4] Amirul/Widad at minimum rate can recite simple doa’

[5] Amirul/Widad happy when in the Preschool/Daycare. Jgn bler hantar pg preschool dier ckp xmo pg school

Here is my KPI for BEST Preschool/Daycare for Amirul & Widad.

Location
Preschool/Daycare’s locations to be close to our house and my office. This is easy to send and fetch Amirul/Widad. In the event of an emergency such as Amirul / Widad  catch a fever/vomit/fainted/ etc, I can immediately go to Preschool/Daycare from my office.

In case of your house is far from the Preschool/Daycare, at least should your immediate relative like parent-in-law or sibling nearby to attend your kids before you reach there.

Qualified and Caring Staff
I do not emphasize the qualifications of the teachers. She doesn’t  need to have a degree /masters in children’s education. Sufficient with the minimum requirements to become a preschool teacher; to attend courses related to preschool and learn first aid techniques. But, its a plus point if the teacher/caregiver have degree in children development/ children psychology. However my KPI are :

  • Teacher should be love the children.
  • High patience, they can handle children when they throw their tantrum
  • Creative with plenty of ideas and able to catch Amirul/Widad’s attention

Stimulating Curriculum
The Preschool/Daycare not necessarily using Montessori method and Preschool/Daycare that are not using Montessori Method not necessarily not good. As my KPI, the Preschool/Daycare

  • Have daily schedules that include plenty of time for physical activity, reading sessions, group programs, socializing, crafts, individual activities,meals, snacks, and free time.
  • Can encourages independence and inspires Amirul/Widad individuality and creativity

NOTE : Children’s learning methods are not only on the books, they learn what is around them.

2in1
Preschool plus Daycare.
Because I do not have a maid,and does not intend to hire a maid, the daycare is very important to me. My KPI criteria for Preschool/Daycare are:

  • I would prefer if the preschool is a house that has a wide area to Amirul play and learn. Outdoor activities is very important to boost up their creativity and interests
  • Clean and well-arranged. uncluttered and the floor / toilet not dirty
  • Safe - equipment like table and toys must be safe for play by children.

Preschool/Daycare Fees
After all above mention points, do not forget about the fees that you have to pay. Its very important because its will effecting your monthly expenses which you need to allocate on monthly basis. Its shouldn’t be a burden yet affordable with fulfill your criteria.

NOTE :

NOTE : Will update on Amirul/Widad current Preschool/Daycare.

How To Boost Self-Confidence

Imagine: You were about to give a speech and suddenly you were lost for words.

A question:  How did you feel at the time you lost a your confidence when you needed the most?

If someone asked me, then my answer is I felt angry and regretful, and a little of bit shame.

If I could turn back the time.

I know there’re reasons, million reasons to what I called the freeze tradegy: you begin to mumbling for your speech when you have been training for hours before that, awkward moment comes  and you are sweating like a horse. To add salt to the wound, you begin to stutter, lost for words, and you embarassed yourself.

It hurts like katana sword comes, from behind, through your stomach.

I looked into myself to think about it and this are the reasons why me and people like me lost their self-confidence in front of audience:

  1.  Lack Of Exposure. If your job is needed to speak all the time with a certain audience, then you get enough exposure. But if your job is rotting yourself in front of a computer and suddenly you were asked to proactively speaking in front of people in a seminar, that would be a problem.
  2. Lack Of Knowledge. We have no idea how to turn an ugly moment around and bring rainbows to it. But if we have read books and deep knowledge about the topic, I’m sure that we will prevail. It’s like our brain tend to help us with critical outcome when we are trouble during that speech.
  3.  A Butterfly In Stomach. This is the ultimate reason why we lose our confidence. At this point, you feel like your whole system is malfunctioned. Your brain is failure to follow order. You feel like to run out of the hall and crying like a baby because you failed to attract your spectator and audience with words and once again, words have failed you and you keep blaming them. You failed to deliver your message to your, maybe, CEO, bosses, clients, students, or audiences.

Last month, I was participated in a workshop and my team leader appointed me to be a group representative to stand and speak in front of 100 participants.

I managed to deliver message and message received. Everyone understand what was all about, I didn’t bore them nor interest them, according to my leader’s feedback. More or less, I feel that nightmare — like million zombies tried to eat me – when I was on the stage.

Here’s some example of tasks that needs self-confidence especially in front of people:

  • Public Speaking.
  • Singing.
  • Opinions.
  • Lecturing.

In my opinion, there are four important points you need to brush up:

  1. Dress something nice.  Try to dress like a champion. It doesn’t matter people mockingly called you a fashionista or something similar to that. We are trying to develop values to our confidence. This is the small step for being self-confidence guy. My suggestion is try to observe what kind of fashion is trending right now or get the idea by just window-shopping at Jusco or Parkson.
  2. Don’t Give Up. One day of brief happiness doesn’t make a man entirely happy. One failure doesn’t make you a lifetime failure. Just don’t give up. We need to fail in order to succeed. Speak. Fail. Review back why you failed.
  3. Go To Class. One way to improve your skills in effective way is to go to class. Public speaking class teaches how not to be afraid when facing millions of audiences. They teach you how body languange actually plays  a part of gaining confidence. Classes provide knowledge, social interactivity, and antidote for scared-of-crowd desease that has been haunting a lot of people.
  4. Pretend Wear A Mask. Before you facing the audience, you take out something from your pocket: a mask and just playfully pretend that you’ll be wearing for 20 minutes presentation of team’s Key Performance Index review. Fear no more. You have been shielded and you’ll be a better presentator, your body is following your order, your voice is doing right, your vital points are well presented.
  5. Learn Something New. Learn something that absolutely far and unrelated with your field of work. In my opinion, if you really want to be creative, in dimensional way, you have to learn something completely new like playing instrument – guitar, piano, or drum; kayaking, or learn foreign language.

Conclusion. Self-confidence is really helping you a lot in your life, especially when being a father. May be you are afraid right now when dealing with audience.

So do I.

I always say to myself that why not give a chance for myself to face the fear.

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