Imagine: You were about to give a speech and suddenly you were lost for words.
A question: How did you feel at the time you lost a your confidence when you needed the most?
If someone asked me, then my answer is I felt angry and regretful, and a little of bit shame.
If I could turn back the time.
I know there’re reasons, million reasons to what I called the freeze tradegy: you begin to mumbling for your speech when you have been training for hours before that, awkward moment comes and you are sweating like a horse. To add salt to the wound, you begin to stutter, lost for words, and you embarassed yourself.
It hurts like katana sword comes, from behind, through your stomach.
I looked into myself to think about it and this are the reasons why me and people like me lost their self-confidence in front of audience:
- Lack Of Exposure. If your job is needed to speak all the time with a certain audience, then you get enough exposure. But if your job is rotting yourself in front of a computer and suddenly you were asked to proactively speaking in front of people in a seminar, that would be a problem.
- Lack Of Knowledge. We have no idea how to turn an ugly moment around and bring rainbows to it. But if we have read books and deep knowledge about the topic, I’m sure that we will prevail. It’s like our brain tend to help us with critical outcome when we are trouble during that speech.
- A Butterfly In Stomach. This is the ultimate reason why we lose our confidence. At this point, you feel like your whole system is malfunctioned. Your brain is failure to follow order. You feel like to run out of the hall and crying like a baby because you failed to attract your spectator and audience with words and once again, words have failed you and you keep blaming them. You failed to deliver your message to your, maybe, CEO, bosses, clients, students, or audiences.
Last month, I was participated in a workshop and my team leader appointed me to be a group representative to stand and speak in front of 100 participants.
I managed to deliver message and message received. Everyone understand what was all about, I didn’t bore them nor interest them, according to my leader’s feedback. More or less, I feel that nightmare — like million zombies tried to eat me – when I was on the stage.
Here’s some example of tasks that needs self-confidence especially in front of people:
- Public Speaking.
In my opinion, there are four important points you need to brush up:
- Dress something nice. Try to dress like a champion. It doesn’t matter people mockingly called you a fashionista or something similar to that. We are trying to develop values to our confidence. This is the small step for being self-confidence guy. My suggestion is try to observe what kind of fashion is trending right now or get the idea by just window-shopping at Jusco or Parkson.
- Don’t Give Up. One day of brief happiness doesn’t make a man entirely happy. One failure doesn’t make you a lifetime failure. Just don’t give up. We need to fail in order to succeed. Speak. Fail. Review back why you failed.
- Go To Class. One way to improve your skills in effective way is to go to class. Public speaking class teaches how not to be afraid when facing millions of audiences. They teach you how body languange actually plays a part of gaining confidence. Classes provide knowledge, social interactivity, and antidote for scared-of-crowd desease that has been haunting a lot of people.
- Pretend Wear A Mask. Before you facing the audience, you take out something from your pocket: a mask and just playfully pretend that you’ll be wearing for 20 minutes presentation of team’s Key Performance Index review. Fear no more. You have been shielded and you’ll be a better presentator, your body is following your order, your voice is doing right, your vital points are well presented.
- Learn Something New. Learn something that absolutely far and unrelated with your field of work. In my opinion, if you really want to be creative, in dimensional way, you have to learn something completely new like playing instrument – guitar, piano, or drum; kayaking, or learn foreign language.
Conclusion. Self-confidence is really helping you a lot in your life, especially when being a father. May be you are afraid right now when dealing with audience.
So do I.
I always say to myself that why not give a chance for myself to face the fear.