KambingBujang

This is the series of My Mom Teaches Me About Life

Photo: littleFIRE

A CURRENT OBSTACLE ENDS AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NEW, MORE CHALLENGING ONE

UPSR challenge.
1. “Do you want to be first in the family without straight As in UPSR, huh. Do you want to be the first?” This was the first challenge I ever face. My soul was cursed with fear. Fear that I could be the one who broke the family records.

2. That was the moment I ever wished I wasn’t born in education-oriented family. No matter how hard I try to deny, I have to live by fact that my father is a professor who loves books so much as he only see how many ‘A’ that I can bring to home from school.

3. The result of my UPSR (Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah) trial was so bad: I got 4Bs (that was real bad for my family). And this had brought disgrace to my family education records. My two elder sisters and my one and only brother, they got great result which is straight As in UPSR.

4. And that made me sad. That year was my moment to continue my elders’ records. I had to drag the heavy burden behind my back and only god knew how much I hate myself.

5. Because my of trial result, I had to — with the deepest guilty in my heart — felt the spray of the water that came out of my mother’s mouth, talking about an uneducated person who led their live miserably with no money, and couldn’t even take care of himself. It went on for 2 hours.

6. Before I went to sleep, I was staring at the ceiling and I wonder how selfish this family was. They only care about grade and all.

7. If I got even one B in my result, I packed my bag and runaway. Well, that was my first thought. But really, I had been thinking through for while and I guess — that runaway thing — was not in my constitution. I decided to face my fear.

IT WAS STRESSFUL.
8. UPSR was like a big, giant stone that I had to hammer it to piece for me to continue my journey of life. Only god knows how hard to I try to pursuing all As. I was trying so hard that if I continue to use the same effort to all challenges for the next 20 years, I could be so intelligent like a rocket scientist.

9. The thing was, I forced myself to set my study-hard effort into motion in pursuing straight As. Like chasing a butterfly, I caught them all. I was flooded with congratulations from all friend and family. My life was full with colors and sunshine. I remember I was smiling a lot as I received an award, as one of the best achievers, on the school stage in front my fellow family, friends and teachers.

10. Just as I proud with my UPSR crap and all, and I believe the magnitude of that happiness wasn’t worn-out until I reached Form 3 — I faced another, more challenging obstacle in my education life : PMR (Penilaian Menengah Rendah)

PMR Challenge onwards.
11. The funny thing was, my effort in chasing all ‘A’s in PMR, was not as much as I put when I was facing UPSR. When I looked back, things that I should do were: I should sit properly, take deep breath, and focus to what I have to achieve — all ‘A’s, to make family proud, my father especially.

I FAILED TO IMPRESS EVERYONE
12. I got 6As, 2Bs, 1D. And I was about to get kicked out from the school, then my father saved me.

13. My father was a Yang Dipertua PIBG, president of the parent-teacher organization. From 1996 to 1998, he carried his responsibility like he had golds in his hand. Because of his intelligent moves and decisions, all parents were in favors for him to continue his excellence in carrying his duty.

14. But you have to have a kid in that school. So if I being kicked out of the school, my father had to let go of his position.

15. The requirement for a student to continue his/her study was, you had to have at least C grade in Arabic Language. I got D. And of course, because of that, I had to find another school.

16. Since the parents and the teachers loved my father a lot, they made an exception for my batch only.

17. I caught my breath for a while, and felt relieve. I, as well as my friends who were below the requirement, continue studying in that school. I promised to myself to study hard, just like I did with UPSR.

18. But I failed to follow my promise.

19. I played more and studied less. I thought I was big enough to decide what’s best for my life. And I was not feeling guilty about that. I was out of focus. Getting excellent result wasn’t my goal anymore.

20. My SPM result was bad. I wanted to eat the result paper.

21. I despised myself to see my friends waving goodbye at airports because they had the opportunity to further study abroad: Japan. Germany. UK. US. You name it.

22. Right now, when I think back to the years that I had been taking for granted, my hands are shaking with full of regrets. My heart is beating so fast to realize that I can’t return back in time and fix the things that had become a history.

BECOMING A FATHER AND ITS CHALLENGES
17. I have a lot of worries in my mind. They’re playing tricks inside of me, keep on telling me that I can’t a good father and even a good husband. I try not to listen to the endless whispers that discourage me for being a better man.

18. When I look at my son, I foresee that he will be just like me: rebel, arrogant, and careless. Let others worry about his future and not feeling guilty about ruining his own life.

19. Some peoole said your kids will follow your tracks. If you do bad things when you’re young, then they will do bad things too.

20. And that what I’m afraid of.

21. I always don’t care about hurting someone’s feeling until now. I hurt my teacher’s feeling who depends on my result for their performance, my father who presume a higher expectation from me, my friends, and the education itself.

CONCLUSION.
22. What I should do back then? If I got the DeLorean car and back to where it began, I should tell my oneself that:

• You have to focus.
• Don’t be fooling around.
• Study instead of bullying your junior.
• Respect your teacher. No matter how hard you study, you can’t score without teacher’s approval.
• Love your family. Don’t be a rebellion like a stupid teenager
• Do what your father and mother told you.