stressful

Chinese Parents Are More Superior Than Western Parents

If children do not excel in education at school, there’s something wrong with their parent. Well, it looks like Chinese parenting is far more better than Western parenting if you read what Amy Chua wrote.

It is a comparison between Western and Chinese parenting. Both of them are different from ever perspective, such as, approval and disapproval, and level of expectations.

The Western parents believe by praise your children more would boost morale. Therefore, your children would learning harder. While the Chinese would smack, rotan, pinch, and punish if the children didn’t excel or meet their expectation. And their expectations are really high; A is only in their eyes. There are no other alphabets.

Both parenting styles pursue different methods and approaches; Chinese parents are strict and authoritative, as if an altitude of pressure is hanging in the air when you are inside their house. On the other hand, Western parents are more cooperative and reassurance, and they believe by doing that they would develop or maintain the children’s self esteem. Furthermore, the emotion of the children are more contained and adequate.

Chinese parents only concern what matters, such as grades and grades only. Western parents concern about everything – sports, play, grades, social life, and emotions.

“the vast majority of the Chinese mothers said that they believe their children can be “the best” students, that “academic achievement reflects successful parenting,” and that if children did not excel at school then there was “a problem” and parents “were not doing their job.””
Funny thing is
My mother did the same to me and my other siblings. Back then, she was so strict she would pinch and smack us if we were naughty and didn’t listen to her. I remember that I got bad grade in primary school and my mother scolded me and made me ashamed of myself.

At the end of that year, I got straight As in UPSR result.

I believe that
..not only Chinese mother are superior. Parents who practice authoritarian style are superior, because they boost their children self-esteem and determination by put pressure on their children head to study harder.

The Most Valuable Lesson

Early this year, I had attended the breastfeeding class with my wife without intention to go at first. Then, I was motivated (forced) by my wife, convincing me that I should go to obtain the deep understanding about baby and the breastfeeding practice.

For 4 hours, I listened to what the speaker eagerly wanted to share with me and the rest of the classroom. It was a mistake for us to bring along Amirul. With my wife was preoccupied with her son menacing all things inside the classroom, I had no choice but to take note for my wife throughout the lesson.

What can you learn from it?
Not much to learn actually. I have no chance, not in a slightest way, directly involved in breastfeeding. The things I learned would eventually dried up and completely forgot because I didn’t apply it in my daily life.

So, the purpose to come to the breastfeeding class was to become my wife’s pen and notepad, actually.

After the lecturer done her presentation, Q & A Session was opened and I raised my hand, “What’s the function of a husband in breastfeeding practice? Is it just to give moral support for wife?“

Then she answered with natural tone, more or less like this:
A husband can play role to contribute indirectly to the breastfeeding practice by doing household chores;

  • Cooking.
  • Drying Cloth in the sun.
  • Cleaning up the mess Amirul made.
  • Wipe The Table at Dining Hall and Living Hall.

What I’ve learned the most is the informal lesson..
Redha. The most precious thing I’ve learned from that class. She said that we should keep our faith if something we don’t like or hate happened to us.

What is redha? It’s informal lesson when the speaker hold the baby and trying to burp him. It happened when a women, who wearing burkah/purdah came into with a baby boy and her left arm. She quickly sat beside the speaker and passed the baby to her as if best friend forever. She placed the baby’s stomach on her shoulder, and by doing that, the baby should be easier to burp or passing the gas.

The redha lesson came in the most informal way after the moment the baby had vomited the milk (terjeluak) on her, where the white liquid was spreading from top of her shoulder to her back. Everyone were making ‘O’ in their mouth.

“Yes, this is a common thing a baby will do to you. You will feel, for the first time, a little bit shock when it happened. There are few unexpected incidents or occasions that can ignite your anger in a minute. You have to redha when the bad things happen. Astighfar as many as you can because there’s more stressful situations await you in becoming a good mom,” the speaker smiled.

Agree with you, speaker. There are few unexpected incidents or occasions that can make you stress. But you can contain it with ease at early stage. Everything is under control and you feel alright. But when it happened repeatedly, your resentment fills you up in the head and you can’t contain you anger anymore.

Your reservoir of coolness shows full indicator that you can’t cope with the stress. When bad situations accumulated like a giant slow ball, you will turn into something that you think you’re incapable of doing that thing to your baby

.Redha is the act of approval. It’s a formal or informal agreement with someone, something, or event.

Redha is always Yin to every Yang of stressful situations. For instance;

  1. You got fired from your work. You worried maybe you will not ever landing a job for the next 5 years. Then the stress becomes really bad; or
  2. Your newborn who can’t sleep, crying from midnight until dawn. You have important day tomorrow, and you need the energy to satisfy your boss with your presentation in the morning.
  3. A flood hits your hometown, and your valuable gadget and other valuable things are damage; Laptop, TV, Wii, PS3, and DVD Player.
  4. When you’ve been cheated by a person that you underestimated him/her, because you always know the subject at the back of your hand, and no way he/she could ever persuade you into something that you’re not believe in. But somehow, he/she succeed in ripping your money in the end.

Instead of letting yourself drifted by the amount of sadness, tense, pressure, you just accept the situation, less complaining (because it will take you to the stressful situation) and try to find ways to brighten you life. Believe in god is the finest way to keep your sanity. Don’t forget to cup both your hand up to the sky and say your prayer.

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